Suicidal on FaceBook

Right, so my uncle (who runs an alcohol and drug rehabilitation facility as well as counsels troubled folks of all ages) has given me the task of hunting down a 12 year old kid on Facebook.

He's been meeting with the kid and his mom for counseling sessions regularly b/c of a lot of problems the kid is going through (mostly because of his severely dysfunctional family). He's also been threatening suicide as well.

The mother of the young boy told my uncle that he has a facebook page and so my uncle would like for me to track him down, befriend him and see what's going on in this kids mind and what kinds of stuff he talks about while on his personal internet space so that I may relay info back to my uncle. My uncle would also like for me to not just add him as a friend, but also have some influence on him AS a friend while keeping my relationship to my uncle (his counselor) a secret.

As you may know, for better or for worse, Facebook is incredibly locked down (unlike Myspace >_>), so I'm having the damndest time trying to find the little guy.

If you think you can assist me in my search efforts, PM me. I'm refraining from posting his info in an open thread since it's subject to be crawled and indexed in the engines.

Or, if you think you can assist me by offering advice a bit more in depth than "Juss het the find friend buttun right tharr", then I'll be appreciative as well.

If I can't find the kid, my next thought would be to wait for Monday to roll around and make a few phone calls to the junior high schools in his city to find out which one he goes to (stating who I am and my purpose for calling of course), if my uncle hasn't found out which school he goes to beforehand. After that, I'll probably have an easier time locating someone else on FB that goes to his school and search their friends lists for the guy.

Staff, please leave in the lounge. This problem is not about me and I would appreciate the highest amount of traffic. Thanks.

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Originally Posted by Jeff777

Right, so my uncle has given me the task of hunting down a 12 year old kid

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Originally Posted by Jeff777

my uncle would like for me to track him down, befriend him

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Originally Posted by Jeff

If I can't find the kid

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If I take you out of context, you kinda sound like a pedo. Was I the only one who noticed this?

Also back on topic, I don't recomend calling his school. They won't hand over a student's info lik that no matter how good it sounds unless you are a parent or guardian. If you can't find him on facebook than that's that.

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Originally Posted by YesterdayToday

If I take you out of context, you kinda sound like a pedo. Was I the only one who noticed this?

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Mature post.

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Originally Posted by YesterdayToday

Also back on topic, I don't recomend calling his school. They won't hand over a student's info lik that no matter how good it sounds unless you are a parent or guardian. If you can't find him on facebook than that's that.

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You have a slight point. If my uncle doesn't have the info I'll need before the weekend is up, I'll simply have him ask the kids mother (or look on file) as to where he goes to school.

You're a guy in his early twenties hoping to 'befriend' a 12 year-old on the internet and have a strong influence in his life.

I get your uncle's thinking, but this seems an odd way to go about helping him. Your uncle should be getting to know the kid and help him on a professional level through his sessions.

http://api.ning.com/files/g6bHEOMD52...M_/mr.pink.jpg

I'm trying to be professional about this.

I understand that you only want to help the kid, and that's a great thing, so please don't take this the wrong way. But isn't there something called "confidentiality" between counselors, therapists, and docs...I didn't think they were allowed to discuss things involving their patients and clients...let alone give someone the mission of hunting them down and befriending them. I mean, is that even legal? I'm trying to say this in the nicest way possible too, because I understand you just want to help...but there's a line...somewhere....right?

Exactly what I was thinking, Nina. That's crossing some serious confidentiality rules?

This thread is now about people agreeing with me.

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Originally Posted by Jeff777

Mature post.

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I don't think he meant it in a bad way. Just that if the kid or his parents get a wind of it it's going to look quite suss.

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Originally Posted by Aquanina

I understand that you only want to help the kid, and that's a great thing, so please don't take this the wrong way. But isn't there something called "confidentiality" between counselors, therapists, and docs...I didn't think they were allowed to discuss things involving their patients and clients...let alone give someone the mission of hunting them down and befriending them. I mean, is that even legal? I'm trying to say this in the nicest way possible too, because I understand you just want to help...but there's a line...somewhere....right?

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Originally Posted by Xox

Exactly what I was thinking, Nina. That's crossing some serious confidentiality rules?

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When it comes down to the fact that someone's life is at stake, then you really shouldn't be worrying about rules like that (besides, these kind of rules can be broken discretely)

And as for calling the school, yes I suppose there is a high chance they won't give you the info. But imo, it is really worth a shot.

Stand back.

My grandfather was a psychoanalyst.

I got this.

If the patient is threatening suicide it's your duty as a licensed professional to tell people who can help, eg suicide prevention groups, parents, sometimes bigger programs and measures.

The doctor shouldn't be telling his friends about his patients or that one is possibly suicidal. That is breaking confidentially, as you're not trained in preventing suicide. If he actually does commit suicide you could be implicated as a factor in his death and taken to court and charged with assisted manslaughter. I'm very serious.

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Originally Posted by slash112

When it comes down to the fact that someone's life is at stake, then you really shouldn't be worrying about rules like that (besides, these kind of rules can be broken discretely)

And as for calling the school, yes I suppose there is a high chance they won't give you the info. But imo, it is really worth a shot.

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We're talking about legal issues here. We don't want anyone getting in trouble.

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Originally Posted by Grod

If the patient is threatening suicide it's your duty as a licensed professional to tell people who can help, eg suicide prevention groups, parents, sometimes bigger programs and measures.

The doctor shouldn't be telling his friends about his patients or that one is possibly suicidal. That is breaking confidentially, as you're not trained in preventing suicide. If he actually does commit suicide you could be implicated as a factor in his death and taken to court and charged with assisted manslaughter. I'm very serious.

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Yeah that's kind of what I thought. He should be telling the kids parents and taking the appropriate measures to prevent this...not getting his nephew to hunt him down and befriend him...that breaks confidentiality. I had no idea that he could possibly be implicated in the death though, now THAT is serious. Thanks for clearing that up Grod.

Basically you really need someones email. If you have their email it should be very easy to find them on face book. If you know their full name it should be very easy as well.

Face book is pretty easy in if you know the information you find people quickly. However if you don't know someones email address you are basically limited to doing google searches for his name, then hopefully finding an email from that.


Okay ignoring for a second that your uncle sharing the information with you is a moral issue. This is also another moral issue.

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Originally Posted by Jeff777

My uncle would also like for me to not just add him as a friend, but also have some influence on him AS a friend while keeping my relationship to my uncle (his counselor) a secret.

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Not only are you going to spy on him, but you are going to try to influence him? I kind of agree with the others on that. You are not a professional, and so you shouldn't be trying to influence people.

If the person was your friend and you were already involved, then I would say sure. You should try your best to help. However there is a big difference between being involved and helping and trying to impose your way into the situation you don't know anything about.

Of course you might do it regardless of what people say on here. Just keep in mind, that anything you lie about may eventually be found out. So you need to be careful in that area. Because if a suicidal person finds out his friend isn't really his friend and was spying on him, well that is not good.

I don't wanna be a dick mate, but either this is isn't true, or your uncles pretty irresponsible.

Imagine if he found out.
He might lose trust in your uncle and abandon all professional help.

After all, I think lying will just make it all a lot more complex and volatile, and I think it should be handled more professionally and, well, honestly? If he's having trouble getting through to the kid, then it's his job to get him to open up; not to send out spies.

I think I'm going to stop trusting these so called professionals for good, sooner or later... Too many bad experiences.

Basically, I agree with the others, spiced up with my own dislike/-trust towards psychologists and psychiatrists.

Great opinions guys. While I understand where you're all coming from (really, I do).. I could really care less. The situation was explained more in depth to me than I can/will say on this site. But you have given me some food for thought, and for that I thank you. I mean that. ^^

I appreciate the two individuals who actually answered my question for which this thread was created. One of them being Alric and the other being via PM.

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Originally Posted by Jeff777

Great opinions guys. While I understand where you're all coming from (really, I do).. I could really care less. The situation was explained more in depth to me than I can/will say on this site. But you have given me some food for thought, and for that I thank you. I mean that. ^^

I appreciate the two individuals who actually answered my question for which this thread was created. One of them being Alric and the other being via PM.

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I would just like to say the expression you are looking for is you couldn't care less.

I'll help you out. Though, like the others have already said, if you're going to attempt befriending him over the net, you're going to have to be very subtle about it. You can't just add him on Facebook and be like, "Hey, buddy! How's it going? Feeling alright?"

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Originally Posted by Grod

I would just like to say the expression you are looking for is you couldn't care less.

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I feel that statement requires some explaining. I don't mean to say that I "couldn't" care less about what you all are saying, but more so the legal ramifications seeing as I earnestly believe there are 0 - none considering his mother is involved in this Facebook operation as well.

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Originally Posted by Black_Eagle

I'll help you out. Though, like the others have already said, if you're going to attempt befriending him over the net, you're going to have to be very subtle about it. You can't just add him on Facebook and be like, "Hey, buddy! How's it going? Feeling alright?"

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I lol'd. Yeah, I know. And I thank you.

It is possible to go about this without lying to him. If he asks, tell him the truth; just don't mention it until he asks. Make it clear that you are genuinely interested in getting to know him (if you are, otherwise I guess you will be lying about something) whether he figures it out or not.

Well his mother should have no trouble finding his face book account, if that is the case. She just needs to go to face book, and chances are he has cookies on and it will either already be logged in, or have the user name already entered. If not you can have her go to the user name box and type in a-z one at a time. There is a good chance that when she enters the first letter it will auto completed his user name.

Search his name and go through every result until you know what he looks like. If you dont know what he looks like, then i cant help you. Althought you have probobly tried that :P

Well after a long absence from DV, I came back and saw this thread. After what happened with my own sister I would be happy to help in anyway I can.

So there is also the factor that the kid may have an alias on facebook instead of his actual name. Also there are the suggestions that appear on everyone's home pages. I am assuming you know the town he lives in and you already stated you know his age. You could either find someone who could spot him through the suggestions or you could create a false profile, again though the chance of him discovering you lied to him about your age and whatever else you had to to find him is risky. But if you knew what he looked like (assuming he posted a profile picture of himself) you might be able to find him that way.

Sorry I couldn't be of more help, hopefully you'll be able to help him though. Iknow what it is like to lose someone you love through suicide; I wish you luck.

I wish I could help here, but I have nothing to offer. :(

Trying to prevent his death is like fucking with nature. Let natural selection do it's work.

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Originally Posted by CRAZY BONE

Trying to prevent his death is like fucking with nature. Let natural selection do it's work.

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Have you ever lost a family member? Have you lost one to suicide? This is nothing to joke about you asshole. Have you ever felt suicidal yourself? Because one day if you do, I hope you remember the very cold and heartless thing you just said here.

I think the entire thing demonstrates only the poor understanding of Facebook among adults (MY KIDS COULD BE MAKING FRIENDS WITH ANYONE ON THAT THING) and the naivety of Jeff.

...friendly reminder to respect your fellow forum members please

This thread has run its course seeing as I've gotten more than enough PM's and answers in here. Thanks to everyone who expressed concern and/or helped me in the manner for which this thread was created.

I believe I'm the OP, therefore I'm requesting a lock. :P